Everyday we impact people’s lives whether it be our children, friends or people in the work place through our interactions.
Whether we want to admit it or not, domestic abuse happens on a daily basis in our homes, businesses and communities.
Living in a digital and remote world means life has become more complex and uncertain but the greatest luxury item people are desperately searching for is uninterrupted, distraction and digital free time and better mental health and well-being.
Paula Quinsee is a relationship mindset expert, coach, and international speaker who empowers individuals and organizations to create positive, healthy, and sustainable relationships. A certified Imago Relationship Therapy practitioner, she began her journey after personal struggles led her to explore how upbringing shapes emotional patterns. Since 2009, Paula has worked with leaders, teams, and communities worldwide, focusing on personal development, wellbeing, gender-based violence awareness, and building strong relational cultures at work and at home.
She is the author of two books, Embracing Conflict and Embracing No, and a TEDx speaker known for her engaging, relatable style. Beyond the stage, Paula is an endurance athlete, having completed the Comrades and Two Oceans Marathons, climbed Kilimanjaro, and trekked the Inca Trail, experiences that reflect her discipline, resilience, and commitment to growth. She brings these lessons into her keynotes and coaching, helping people set goals, overcome barriers, and foster deeper, more fulfilling connections.
Paula Quinsee is a passionate advocate for positive and healthy relationships, personal development, well-being and GBV and empowering others with insights and tools to have the relationships and life they desire.
Imago Relationship Therapy was my turning point
When I was introduced to Imago Relationship Therapy in 2006, I had hit rock bottom (listen to my story below) with yet another failed relationship and my life was at an all time low.
Paula Quinsee was astounded at how powerful Imago is and the insights I gained into how our upbringing shapes us and the kinds of relationships we have. Our childhood is where the foundation of our emotional capacity is formed, and it’s this ‘baggage‘ that we carry with us throughout our lifetime.
Paula started my coaching journey in 2009 and have been working with people and organisations all over the world ever since. My focus and passion is working with people and organisations who have a vested interested in wanting to develop themselves to be able to have healthy relationships at home and in the workplace.
She believe life is a lifelong journey of learning and Paula Quinsee is continually up-skilling myself with knowledge and tools to make an even greater impact in the lives of the people I am blessed to work with.
Besides my professional qualifications, I am also an international speaker, Tedx speaker and author of 2 books: Embracing Conflict and Embracing No.
Sport and an active lifestyle is my happy place and here you will often find me competing in several adventures such as:
The Comrades Marathon (14th overall/ 10th SA lady – 2009), Two Oceans Marathon (15th overall/11th SA lady – 2010), cycled from Sun City to Cape Town for charity, climbed Mount Kilimanjaro and walked the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu in Peru to mention a few by Paula Quinsee.
Paula Quinsee therefore know what it takes to set goals and the discipline, focus and motivation it takes to achieve your dreams and goals. Inspiring, motivating and touching people’s lives is my passion.
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Paula Quinsee begins by acknowledging how technology supports daily life but cannot replace the essential need for human connection. For centuries, people have lived in communities, and while digital tools now allow us to connect across the globe, they often reduce the quality of our closest relationships.
She highlights the imbalance between hours spent working, commuting, sleeping, and being online versus the time invested in family, partners, and friends. Divorce rates, cyberbullying, and children acting out reflect the gaps left by disconnection. Many parents substitute love and attention with gadgets, but what children truly need is presence and connection.
Paula shares a personal story about phone use in her own marriage, illustrating how devices can create friction and distance even in supportive relationships. She challenges audiences to innovate not only in technology but also in their relationships—unplugging for just five minutes to be fully present with loved ones or colleagues.
In the workplace, she urges people to go beyond surface greetings and genuinely engage with colleagues, knowing their lives and families. Citing anthropologist Robin Dunbar’s theory, she notes humans can maintain only about 150 meaningful relationships. Social media “likes” and followers can’t substitute for quality bonds.
Paula concludes by reminding audiences that relationships are the foundation of support during hardship and the true currency of success. When we neglect them, they fade. The legacy we leave is how we make people feel.
00:00 Opening – Technology’s role versus human connection.
01:10 Hours spent online compared to nurturing relationships.
02:15 Divorce rates, cyberbullying, and children seeking love through behavior.
03:15 Personal story about phone use in her marriage.
04:15 Challenge – unplug for five minutes, be fully present with loved ones.
05:10 Workplace relationships – moving beyond greetings to real engagement.
06:00 Dunbar’s “150 relationships” principle and the illusion of online followers.
06:45 Closing message – quality relationships are our legacy and support system.
Paula Quinsee opens with context from the World Economic Forum. By 2025, half of employees will need reskilling. The ten essential skills cluster into technology use and development, problem solving, self management, and working with people. Eight of the ten are human skills. She reframes them as the capabilities that make us effective in a digital world rather than optional soft extras.
Technology fluency matters, but most gains come from critical thinking, creative problem solving, project management, and the social side of work. Leaders must now influence remotely, protect culture at a distance, and collaborate without the ease of corridor conversations. Self management anchors everything. Paula covers resilience, self awareness, confidence, focus, and the realities of mental health. She distinguishes self care routines from the broader spectrum, including depression and chronic loneliness. Research shows loneliness damages immunity at a level comparable to smoking fifteen cigarettes a day, which explains rising health and performance risks in isolated teams.
Burnout is surging. Contributing factors include exhaustion from blurred hours, cynicism in negative environments, and harsh self evaluation that erodes purpose and identity. Triggers range from long hours and no breaks to unclear expectations, lack of recognition, job insecurity, and alone working. She flags increases in gender based violence and online harassment in remote settings, urging policy updates and robust support.
Leaders must adopt holistic and empathetic management, seeing the whole person at home and flexing schedules around realities like homeschooling. Individuals can develop mental toughness through three skills. Self leadership means consciously shaping thoughts and behavior to meet goals. Self discipline requires a compelling why and follow through, supported by transparent communication. Adaptability is practical resilience under changing conditions.
Paula closes with tactical habits. Redefine success, expand support structures, align reskilling with strategy, practice mindfulness, set boundaries, and use the 90–20 rhythm to manage screen time. Results depend on people. When organizations prioritize relationships, they protect health, productivity, and long term performance.
00:00 Introduction and session framing
00:40 WEF insight: 50 percent of employees require reskilling by 2025
01:20 Four skill clusters and why eight of ten are human skills
02:10 Technology use and becoming practically tech savvy
03:00 Problem solving, critical thinking, creativity, and project execution
03:50 Working with people: remote leadership, culture, and collaboration
05:10 Self management: resilience, self awareness, confidence, focus, wellbeing
06:20 Mental health spectrum and the costs of loneliness
07:45 Burnout drivers: exhaustion, cynicism, negative self evaluation
09:45 Workplace triggers: long hours, no breaks, unclear expectations, lack of support, job insecurity, alone working
11:10 Rising gender based violence and online harassment; policy and support needs
12:20 Leadership upgrades: holistic and empathetic management, flexibility
13:20 Mental toughness skills: self leadership
14:00 Self discipline and the importance of consistent communication
14:40 Adaptability as resilience in action
15:10 Redefining success, internal and external support structures, aligned T&D
16:10 Mindfulness, boundaries, and the 90–20 online rhythm
17:10 People are the business: relationships drive performance
Relationships in business and life, conflict management, gender-based violence awareness, wellbeing, and empowerment.
Yes, Paula tailors keynotes and workshops to leadership, HR, and team-building contexts.
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